I've
upped my game... now up yours! Sitting down, on the floor, in my living room, with Jo and a dozen bits of scrap paper neatly placed around us, isn't the way we always spend Saturday nights. But what a night it turned out to be... I'd just spent the day with my favourite teacher, Dr. William Bloom as he gave his take on Creating and Manifesting a great life. He'd been asking a question during his course: "Who is telling my story?" I thought about some of my beliefs, behaviours and values and mulled over where those patterns had been instilled - at school, by parents, friends, work colleagues, sports team managers etc. Something to heal There were a few beliefs and behaviour's that struck me, but one I particularly want to share with you, in case you have something similar to heal... During my school days I was always picked for leadership - team captain, town, county and club, games captain and prefect. I loved lifting trophies, hated losing and always lead by example. In football - my favourite sport - it was a thrill to captain lads who went on to sign for Arsenal, Luton, Brentford and Northampton. I missed out on trials for Leicester because of a back injury and never got another chance to fulfil my footballing dream. (Ahhh!) I ended up playing for the second best semi-pro outfit in the town, doing a solid job at centre half, but hankering to play in my best position, full-back. When I asked the manager to switch me he said he'd think about it. The next match, he gave me the only roasting a team manager ever gave me, and he did it in front of the rest of the team, just because I'd asked him to play me where I knew I'd deliver my best for the team. If that humiliation wasn't enough, he dropped me to the 3rd team reserves the following week. Breaking your will Had I dug in, gritted my teeth and fought my way back, maybe I'd have eventually worked my way back into the team and gone on to fulfil my footballing dream... who knows? But it wasn't to be... So as a 17 year old, I chose not to roll up my sleeves and pull out the fire from within. My will broken, I gave up. Told the manger where to shove his team and entered a bitter loop. With my old friends playing semi-pro, me missing my golden opportunity, ending up at semi-pro level and then being dropped to the 3rd team, I became trapped in the experience of "not feeling good enough". A psychological drama that many people share, for lots of different reasons. But what's all this got to do with sitting on the living room floor with Jo, on a Saturday night? Well, I'd become interested with the differences that separate success from failure and I wanted to ensure I ditched this not feeling good enough feeling. It was no longer serving me and the direction my life was going in. So I wrote down, "not good enough and weak willed" on this scrap of paper. Then I sat back and wondered, if I turned this over to the Universe (God, the Tao, Spirit - or whatever you want to call it) how would this experience be used as a force for good. The answer was simple. "Be determination and excellence." When I read the life story of top football manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, I was left in no doubt that when he was faced with similar situations of being dropped as a footballer, he was tougher than me. Today, as a manager he buys only excellence and demands excellence from his team every time. So I adopted his determination and pursuit of excellence and asked another question, "How would I express this determination and excellence?" The answer: put in five times more effort. So I have. I began by clearing space. I looked at habits and behaviours that were not determined and began changing them. When I do something that doesn't match the new standard, I go back and do it again and again until it is. You see, being in a flow of having more, isn't just about asking for more, it's about matching up to what you want. Having more isn't just about writing down a goal. It's not making a wish. It's about putting your soul into the thing you want and doing it with love, joy compassion and good grace that honours your journey and the new you that is emerging. Who is telling your story? What holds you back? What would life be like if you changed that forever? How about you change it? With love Neil CommunitySoul
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